Paubaya by Moira Dela Torre: ‘Ako ang kailangan, pero ‘di ang mahal’ – stings the heart but one can’t deny that, sometimes, circumstances like that are part of life. ‘Paubaya’ is a Filipino term for ‘waiver or release of a right or responsibility to another’ or to ‘entrust to someone else’.
Here, netizens react to probably one of the most unforgettable ‘love’ songs of the new millennia – Moira Dela Torre’s ‘Paubaya’. The song talks about unrequited love as well as the pains and pangs of it. Here are the lyrics of the song – you be the judge of it.
Saan nagsimulang magbago ang lahat?
Kailan no’ng ako’y ‘di na naging sapat?
Ba’t ‘di mo sinabi no’ng una pa lang?
Ako ang kailangan, pero ‘di ang mahal
Saan nagkulang ang aking pagmamahal?
Lahat ay binigay nang mapangiti ka lang
Ba’t ‘di ko nakita na ayaw mo na?
Ako ang kasama, pero hanap mo siya
At kung masaya ka sa piling niya
Hindi ko na ‘pipilit pa
Ang tanging hiling ko lang sa kanya
Huwag kang paluhain at alagaan ka niya
Saan natigil ang pagiging totoo
Sa tuwing mababanggit na mahal mo ako?
Ba’t ‘di mo inamin na mayro’ng iba?
Ako ang kayakap, pero isip mo siya
At kung masaya ka sa piling niya
Hindi ko na ‘pipilit pa
Ang tanging hiling ko lang sa kanya
Huwag kang paluhain at alagaan ka niya
Ba’t ‘di ko naisip na mayro’ng hanggan?
Ako ‘yong nauna, pero siya ang wakas
At kita naman sa ‘yong mga mata
Kung bakit pinili mo siya
Mahirap labanan ang tinadhana
Pinapaubaya, pinapaubaya
Pinapaubaya ko na sa kanya
Here are some reactions from netizens:
“The hardest part of life is when the person who gave you the best memories becomes a memory. Mahirap magpaubaya at palayain ung taong mahal mo pa, Pero wala kanamang magagawa dahil yun ung nagpapasaya sakanya, Masakit sa part na andami niyong pinapangarap sa future niyo pero sa iba pala niya gagawin. We must face the fact na ung taong mahal natin may mahal nang iba and we just need to accept kase yun lang ung way para makamove on… and yet is still hurts.” – Mitchico Casica.
“Di ko alam bakit minsan napapasama yung tingin naten sa mga “nang-iwan” at “napagod” na tao without knowing their side. It takes so much time to give up on someone you love na kinakitaan mo ng future with you but that doesn’t mean na we good sa mga multiple “sorry” nyo na walang “changed behavior”. You guys just dont know how much it hurts na palayain yung taong minahal mo just to save yourself lang. Kung gaano kasakit “maubos” na halos pagmamahal sa sarili mo naibigay mo sakanila. Kung ilang problema and shits yung sinantabi nila just to hold on sa relationship believing na baka kaya pa “maisalba” pero wala. In the end, wag nyong pagurin yung tao tas tsaka kayo babawi pag pagod na sainyo. And sa iba naman, dont be so one sided. Hindi lahat ng iniwan nakakaawa. I’m sayin’ this in behalf of mga napagod.” – FunTV
“Sabi nga nila the best way to cope up in a break up, is to forgive the person. Hindi man kayo nagkatuluyan, ang mahalaga may memories kang baon na magsisilbing lesson mo sa susunod na kabanata ng buhay mo. Para pag nagmahal ka ulit, buo ka at alam mo na kung ano ang gusto at mga gagawin mo. Kasi minsan kahit gusto mo pang ipaglaban kung ano ang meron kayo, darating at darating talaga sa point na mauubos ka na lang at mapapagod. Yung gustuhin mo man pero di na kaya ng puso mo na masaktan pa. Kaya we choose to let go, not because we don’t love the person anymore, but because you choose yourself not to be hurt anymore. And all we can do is pray for the other person to be strong and happy again.” – Krisna
“Leaving is a choice, but if you really love the person we always choose to stay no matter what, because love is always a choice and staying is a choice but choosing to leave is a choice too, no matter what the reason is when we choose to leave means love is not enough anymore.” – Jay-Ann Castillo
Some also detailed their own ‘Paubaya’ story.
“To Z, We were together for 6 years, you were my first love and so was I to you. andami nating pangarap. From plans on the dates of our wedding, number of kids, we were both looking forward for that to happen. We were almost perfect… not until I lost myself, at hindi ko namalayan na I was also slowly losing my love for you. I am sorry, mahal, sinubokan ko, sinubokan kong subokan ulit. Lumaban naman tayo ngunit patawad dahil bumitaw ako kahit wala pang dulo. Yung kahit na alam mong unti unti na akong bumitaw, pinilit mo pa ring humawak, I am truly sorry if I wasnt strong enough to stay, nawala ako, naubos ako. I’m sorry I couldnt be the woman you have hoped for. Now, I just wanna thank you for letting me go, for letting us go. I know it was so hard in your part na palayain ako kasi alam kong mahal mo pa ako pero pinili mo pa ring sumuko at magpaubaya. Alam ko nahirapan kang palayain kung ano yung meron tayo, hindi ko maisip kung gaano kasakit na bitawan ako kahit na ayaw mo pero you needed to. Its so selfless of you. It’s sad to think na lahat ng mga plano at mga pangarap natin ay magiging parte nalang nang noon. Sana mapatawad mo ako. Sana maging masaya ka. Sana mahanap mo yung taong kaya kang ipaglaban hanggang dulo.” – Sheree Salcedo.
My personal take on ‘paubaya’: like Elsa’s song ‘Let it Go’.
If they’re no longer happy, let them go. Why restrict their happiness with your existence. Maybe I am just past my prime (old) to be saying this. Life is unfair, it’ll always be. Should you be obliged to be happy for them? You don’t have to. Maybe it is best to focus on your own happiness. Maybe, there’s no such thing as ‘the one’. Maybe, love is not confined to a romantic relationship. Maybe, I’m just bitter. LOLs. But, that’s life. We just have to ride the waves and make the most of every turbulent storm.
