Amusing how heartaches are usually associated with relationships of the opposite sex. However, being ‘heartbroken’ does not always have to be a romantic issue. A heartache can be losing a mom, not being able to get over a hurtful experience, mourning over an ended career, or just being plain uncertain about the future. On the other hand, with heartaches, there is healing. A momentary cutback to give oneself an opportunity to regain the things that have been lost. Join me in this article as I dissect self-love, and what does it really mean to love oneself.
There was a point in my life when I strongly decided that ‘self-love’ is not just casually important but all-the-time necessary. That, beyond the top urgent and asaps, and prioritizing other people’s concern all the time, there is always a compromised me underneath it all. And the crushing weight is unbearable.
Putting the foot down. Self-love is a regard for one’s own happiness and advantage. It’s almost 30 years and I barely practice self-love – well, in my younger years. However, just this year, I decided to ‘put the foot down’ and strongly place myself as top priority. However, the decision can spawn repercussions. People who have been accustomed to ‘usery’ will always be bewildered by some newfound self-respect. Some other people might even hint on the words selfish and conceited. It’s hard at first. There may even be feelings of guilt. However, be firm. Put the foot down.
Take time to heal. I am in love with a mobile game, Mobile Legends, and have been playing it to distract myself from unhealthy, negative thoughts. I have been using the support healer hero, Rafaela. Little did I know that I have used the character 700+ times in my brief moment of playing Mobile Legends. Yes, 700 going 800. That would only mean that there were somewhat 700+ incidences that negative thoughts tried to enter my mind. Rafaela is no main hero. She is a support character with healing skills. It felt like it was a subconscious choice that highlighted my yearning for healing. Take time to heal. No matter how long it takes, respect your process. Just keep moving forward.
Invest in yourself. For me, healing is investing in me-time. Self-love is also investing in me-time. That means going by myself, in deep thought, reflecting about life as a part and as a whole. It means long walks – blank walks, rather. That also mean going by the day in complete silence – the only conversation I have is in my thoughts. That also mean long sighs at the balcony of SM Southpoint while staring at the sunset – and silent hours.
Move forward but take caution. It takes time to firmly put the foot down, to fully heal, and to fully invest in yourself. Once everything is settled, move forward but take caution. Life doesn’t always play by the rules. In some point, there will be incidences that will send you spiraling back. Again, be firm, heal, and invest in yourself. When beaten again, rise again and again. We break, we fall. Over and over. But life will not wait for you to get better. It goes on. It continues to move. And you can’t do anything but mend yourself – again and again and again and again, over and over. Cry all throughout the night, cry a river but make sure to wake up a stronger person in the morning.
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